To [insert employer’s name],

This person, [insert your name], cannot come to work today. They are suffering from… stuff. Yeah Stuff. 

The cause of said “stuff” is unknown; however, the cure for “stuff” is at Mount Sima.

The following treatment has shown promising results.

• Snow
• Chairlift
• One full day at Mt. Sima

[insert name] will be looking to you to help them with the cure. 

So, you know… be cool.

Sincerely, 
Mount Sima

p.s [insert name], always said you were a pretty sweet boss.